OLGA

Hello. My name is Olga. I’m 24. I’d like to tell you about how God has changed me and my life. In fact, God is real, but I just never believed in Him. I thought He might exist somewhere in heaven, but it didn’t relate to me (it did not say anything to me). It seemed to me that all my life depended only on me. I always trusted only in myself and in my own strength. I thought that I should live the way I want to live. I considered it very normal. I had all kinds of fun and lived it to the limit. I never restricted myself in anything. I was in cool hang outs, night clubs, all kinds of disco bars, surely all looked very cool to me, and I liked it very much. I thought this is the high life. What else do you need? I had very many friends. Soon I found out that they just come and go. Friends will sooner or later desert you or fail. But now I know that God never fails.

You know, I thought everything was fine in my life. People are just used to comforting themselves by thinking “I’m fine.” We are so used to wearing a mask, but sooner or later it all comes to an end. And all the hangouts and discos do not lead to anything good. Everything started kind of jokingly. It was so much fun to have a beer and smoke a joint. Everything starts looking different for you. Life seems better and to live feels good. But this is just a lie. It starts small, then you don’t want a joint or a beer any more but something else, something new. "I‘ll just relax one time, that’s all."

I tried shooting heroin and before I knew it I could not live without it. I turned into a drug addict. This is what awaited me in the end of this whole fun thing. The meaning of life was lost. I wasn’t interested in anything else anymore. I only needed one thing – drugs. This road that I once thought to be so cool was leading me deeper and farther. I entered into a life of crime, started living by committing different kinds of crimes. A couple of times I tried with all my own strength to get out of this nightmare, but all in vain. The mud was sucking me in – deeper and deeper. I ended up in prison. It was horrible! Nothing gave me joy in life anymore. Emptiness was in my soul. No one cared for me. Everything was lost.

Hatred and anger grew in me day by day. I hated the whole world and had pity on no one. While I was serving my sentence in prison my sister became a Christian. She wrote me a letter about God, that He is and He loves me in spite of the fact that I was a drug addict and there was no stopping me bringing evil, deception and pain in the lives of the people around me. I did not understand at once that God was my salvation. I had a different kind of life. I lived among the wolves. I trusted no one, everybody was my enemy and if I didn't fight for myself I’d be a corpse. I lived according to such laws and could not imagine that God could change all my life: my dirty slang, my rough character, my thought patterns. Maybe you’ll think it’s impossible, but for God nothing is impossible. Somewhere in the depth of my heart a ray of hope started breaking through.

I started noticing through some things that were happening in my life that He is real. I even started considering my being in prison as something that He allowed in order to save me from something even worse. If not for Him I probably would not be alive. With my explosive character in the crime world plus me being a drug addict I do not think I would have lasted long. I always did my own thing and never listened to any one. I wanted to be the first everywhere and if some one was in my way I was ready for everything in order to eliminate all the obstacles. I saw a lot of dirty stuff in my life. I got out of prison with a stone cold heart and hatred was in my eyes.

What happened next was unbelievable. I came to the believers and repented before Jesus for my sins and my past. He gave His life on the cross for my sins and rose up on the third day. He cleansed me by His blood. I realized all the iniquity in my life and I wanted to be close to God the Father. All the suffering Jesus went through, His death and resurrection, the reality of God’s love and His care were revealed to me. Only God can fill the hearts with joy and real love. I did not want money, beer, cigarettes, or drugs. I wanted to be close to my Creator. Day by day God has been changing me, my life. He has cleansed my heart from anger, hatred and hurts, from all kinds of dirty things.

And if you are now going through hard times just know – He knows you and He sees you, your heart hardened into a stone by pain and self- pity. Know that He can change all that. Open your heart before Him. He is not gonna give you an easy life, but He will forgive your sins. He loves you and He really cares for you. Forsake your sins and come to Him.